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Archive for March, 2014

Marching

Marching

D1402

 

 

Hello blog, it’s been a while since i posted the last rant, it means i’m really busy, and being busy are good rather than idling. I’ve seen some unnecessary conflict, drama and silliness while the mind aren’t in particular sense of pressure. Few days or month ahead, unfortunately i too, will enter the idling state, the fact that i’ve posted this entry is one of the perks of being idle.

I quit my job.

Amazing how spread my mind’s spectrum are when i’m not thinking about job, so much things to be thought of. Like, it’s already March 2014, i’ve just remembered i work my ass off even at new year’s eve. And even that is after i quit my job, which is supposedly made me a slacker at that time.

The frickin deal is, some problems that make me (and, or us, my mom), clearing our bank account. Quite bummer at these times, the work that i stacked over for a few years and months are gone. Just like that. With just a little zenny left, one can really see through what is worth doing at times like these. Including calm moment. What did i achieve at 2013 and what is 2014 going to be. The year 2011 until 2013 for me is a -how’s a mmo define it- a grinding year, while the 2014 ones maybe the era of change, a HUGE change. I’ve never been a mystical person but the sign are all over it. Since 2014 only passed for two month and few days, let me sort out what is last year looked like for me.

Some jokes which are funny, suddenly not when you hit almost 30.
Because when you hit over 26, chances are you already doing things back then when you consider weird, nasty, strange, sexy, naughty. Once you through it, somehow the innocents that makes the joke hillarious are taken away, replaced with awareness. And when you see some of your youngest friends strike the joke and cracking, that’s when sudden realization zapping in. You’re getting old.

Almost anyone always need anything intangible to get a hold on and keep their sanity.
Some must be more powerful than themselves, most commonly god from whatever religion, a bit less popular choices are certain brands, powerful political groups/friends/family, motivation piece, etc. The need to have faith to resilient uber-powerful figure are natural and necessary, for example in working area : you have the best team that can overcome any obstacles and reigning king of efficiency, suddenly one of your team is renouncing, then you’re not as efficient or as good as you know it before, the days wouldn’t be the same, putting so many efforts to fill the gap creating more problem in the run, eventually leads to more leaving. There, some people need some greater unwavering force, so when everything went haywire, they have some invinsible trump card, to ensure everything will be okay at some point.

The Dead Of Idealism.
Crap, i even took some time to remember this word. I remember the first year of my work as a graphic designer, that i would be creating something thoughtful, different and not plagiarize boldly, back then, the internet wasn’t so cheap as now, and graphic design content wasn’t so abundance. Googling anything with word ‘design’ now, there are millions of content that literally wants to be used, when the first world country and some area still tight about plagiarism, some content for example, “flower picture for logo”, there are hundreds of authors wants you to use their design element, even legal to modifying it then incorporate to our original logo, so then they will gain their revenue from their web visits. While some people are still in the fuzz about ideas and originality, the method is legal.

For me personally, early years are the hardest stage of graphic design, we have to come with original ideas in a hope the client will love it and the deal was quick to be closed. But now, as long as the job is done with the emphasize of FAST, regardless of quality. Doesn’t matter if public love it, or even the creator itself love it, as long as they paid in full, everything will be fine. Once you pay your own bills, electricity and all other life cost, you have to shred your own ego.

The Bliss Of Ignorance.
There was a time when facebook photos sometimes determine who we are. Seriously, when you are emotionally down, do not check any social media, i mean SERIOUSLY DO NOT, check porn instead.

I can’t seem to unsee what the other people achieve in their age, there are so many randomness factor into account that make the people what they are now and as a whole timeline, but those factors are somewhat dispersed easily by people’s judgement. I haven’t mastered the ability to ignore the other people opinion, mocking and comparison. The most common opinion i’ve heard is about comparison that i am as good as those people with higher earnings, even better, but why i still have lower income than them comparable ones, the fact that they are achieving so much at younger age is somewhat striking hard on me. Then came natural conclusion, ah so there is money right? then it is okay, i can understand and measure them, so when i focus into profit, deliberately refuse their just-cause offering, the same person that hauled income stuff earlier in turn said that, the important thing is not just profit, but friendship also.
…. Fuck them all.
Hmmm kinda hard to put things into example, let’s put it this way :
A father told the son to become a lawyer, ’cause of the high earning, so the son become a successful lawyer and live happily. One time his laptop are broke and the data which contains a handful of important cases must be recovered in any means, it’s about a matter of life and death cases. His inability to repair the laptop is unquestionably impossible, so the laptop is sent to repair centre and repaired well, in the end, the lawyer and his father gave a piece “ah it’s good to be the lawyer eh? not the repairman, they have a hard job but the pay is low”. Not everyone supposed to be a lawyer, no better than everyone supposed to be IT Department. Yes, that kind of comments and situations comparing each one with the others are which i’m trying to overcome, it’s a branch of jealousness, which brings to next irritation possible.

In average age of 25-40,
mostly people are self sufficient and sailing life, pronounced by some material objects. Cars, home, bank savings, etc. It become deciding factor of people’s quality around me before 30.Well, they’re not wrong, but how about many stories that doesn’t end at the age before 30?

Some oldschool advices are not working anymore.
Something that you said over and over until it doesn’t mean what it should anymore. Seriously, it become offensive.

  • It’s for your own good : Fuck it, you don’t know me, you’re not there when i’m sad, happy or in neutral state. The one who throws this favourite quote is just for themselves to feel good and feeling needed, they just express it out of the window, to fulfill their ego of righteousness, since they’re not carry your life.
  • You don’t experience my life : Somebody just throws the word away, while they need somebody to talk, without consent nobody asking them and we can ignore you too if that’s what you wanted.
  • God will do this/that, planning this/that : Yes he may, NOT YOU, yet you keep sprouting it.
  • Not all things are about money : This is the most irritating, most hypocrite of all stuff said.
  • Be creative : Don’t say some intangible things and knows no bound that make you even cringe.
  • Work hard : Once, i went 10 km with my motorcycle while heavy storming outside, just to receive a 2 sentences news. What are we? Medieval knights who experiences electricity only from witches?
  • Humans are prone to mistake : Okay i get it, fix the fuck out, rather than keep yappin’.
  • Life is like a… : Life is life, there’s no comparable thing ever. Seconds to the sentences are ‘even animal wouldn’t……’
  • Too much uncalled and unasked abstract false advices to be put in this list, sentences above are what i heard most.

To counter some advice ahead, some are really working intangible advice i found to be helpful.

  • The One Day/Month/Year Account : Super helpful, for example, i want to change my smartphone, will it still bugging me one year after and before? if yes, just buy it. Another example, i want to file complain to a certain person/institution, would i want to invest my time one month ahead? no? one year? am i going rampage one month/year ahead if i let it pass? if not, just don’t do it.
  • Ignorance : Super helpful too, i think this one needs no explanation. For example, my mom’s friend whose initially very rich person, and because the business is bad, she died poorly, do people keep judging her in the One Year Account above? Nobody cares, my mom keeps busy as usual, problems always born out of nothing, there always one problem after another to keep our attention busy. Bottom line is, basically, nobody really cares.
    ugh, unfortunately i have yet to found another.

The overused drama in small confined space.
Gossiping, Self-Righteous Person, Illogical Behaviour, Racism, Hypocrite, Mr Knowitall, Overreaction shit (once i’m being laughed super-hard-i-thought-he-had-asphyxiation-or-possessed-by-satan, because i spelled someone’s name wrong) are anywhere, i mean ANYWHERE, and i’ve yet to be get used by it.

It’s impossible to please anyone.
The more i keep the words close, the more convenient to do something that make inconveniences to other people, it disperse guilty. Heck you get one useful perk of it : The ability to Choose Your Own Enemies. By voluntarily choose your own enemies, actually you can do more productive account by exceeding the subject, rather than you make somebody mad by chance, that you’re trying to fix the damage rather than moving on.

The perspective of one year life should and will change as the older we get. In 20 years, i will be seeing this post and it will feels like childish post.

4 Mar ’14Read More